Private - ZAUDAS WORDS (sic) | Solstice Roleplay

Private ZAUDAS WORDS (sic)

Sep 28, 2018
First Words

Was Suggest to me to maKe thOughts as script. Stab paper. Told selfhistory is valuable. Was told to start one day at a time. One thing then another thing. Whatever makes sense.


My name is Zauda Stonecarver. I am youngest of many in nest. I dont know how many summers old I am. Stopped counting after two tens and more, and it is difficult to tell time across many strange star and world. I lived as florans do for many summers. Hunt. Stab. Eat. Simple life. Easy. Was not best, or strongest, or smartest. Was just Zauda. I was borN with odd colors that made me good at hiding in wood and bark, so that is good.

(A crude self-portrait. A leafy head with large eyes and fangs, with one eye erased and redrawn as an eyepatch.)

Lost it all though. Made very very very bad mistake one day, when doing special task for chief. Seedkins of tribe chief died. Respected florns died. Got kicked out. I was allowed battle trial to stay. Lost fight, lost eye and lost home. Was put in crummy ship and told to travel ten anna half worth of blind leaps across the stars. Only made ten and two travels before ship broke and died.

Now I am in this ugly space region. Loswake first. Broken ship is still there even as planet dies now from metal plague and industry. Was there for many days and nights, when it was still red. Had nothing to own. No frin friends who stayed. Had no monys money and was too proud to work silly jobs like shop keep or cleaning trash. People were there, then people were not there, leaving Zauda alone for a long time.

Then suddenly people came back to attack florans. I was shoted bad. Almost died. But then I was taken to a new place called Gameu, where I was fixed in hosptl. Shiny town in peaceful fields. Is not bad. Just boring and has troubles. Owned by hylotl named Youkary. They're nice but loud. Made friends there. Found a home, shared with another florn named Kozu. Swallowed pride and got job cleaning trash and keeping town shiny. Is not bad.

Began to learn of things though. many humans hate florans in these places, more than fish do closer to Great Flora actually. Not fear, thats normal, but real hate. Dunno why. Hasn't heard of any big tribes here that would do raids and call wild hunts on flesh tribes. Maybe related? Something in distant past that left scars. Some fleshys are nice enough. Others, mostly human, look at me like a hissing bomb or a walking insult. Zaud used to it now. Just ignore.

One day, large treefort owned by floran I dont know was burned to death on Loswake. Was there at the time, seeking quiet and solitude. Then I was deafened by loud sounds. Earthquake and fire. Broke some bones falling from tree. Gunfire and shooting. I warned the starnet voices and fled. I was very scared. Metal and industry spread from ruined tree like a sickness, and today LOswake village is covered in it, owned by cruel things who kill on sight.

(A doodled picture of a tree on fire.)

Today people leve Gamui behind too - say they hate the laws and decisions oF Yuke - and go to Dusk WOod. Icy world of snow and thick forests. Like Loswake, but cold. very violent. Lots of shoot and stab. Every second time I go there, someone dies. Meat is dragged away and I cant eat it. A little human with psyon magic that I liked died there. Was killed from nowhere, and turned into angry bugs. FEels bad. floran promised to find shootr but never found clues. No idea what to do or who to stab.
Nagging guilt for the rest of my summers.
Broken oaths.

(Unintelligible scribbling. Pictures of a sad humanoid figure surrounded by a dark cloud.)

Duskwood forestland has many animals. Hunt often. Catch hoppy things covered in white fur. Sparse meat but cooks good. Also big angry whitefur things. Predators with gamey meat. Ate one with a clumsy hunter meatthing Rika, and it was gross. Wont do that again. STill, I killed it with knife and claws and teath teeth with little help. Great job floran. Zauda kept bit of white pelt and the head to be de-meated as trophy.

Miss my last trophy skul skoll skull, from young days. Was a differnt meatman hunter who tried to attack long ago. Killed and ate. One of the only things I could take from home when floran got kicked out. Now it is left behind on dead ship above Loswake.
I would probably get unhappy looks if I showed it to anyone.

(Unintelligible scribbling. The author starts and stops multiple times, clearly trying to prompt themselves to keep writing.)


Yukaree YouKari is a blue hylotl. they are very strange and chatty. never stops talking. also pokes and touches a lot.
It is annoying, but I know they don't understand why its strange. theyre only a fish.
They run Gamu town and everything in it almost, and pay me moneys to keep shiny town shiny by collecting junk. it is a stressful thing being chief.
doesnt see them a lot anymore

Kosu is floran. red like Loswake trees. they grew up sailing space, never seeing land until they were grown! Made them small and weak and nervous, but they know lots about machines. They let Zauda live in their nest and use sun lamp bed. Good friend. Very smart.

Metidas Mathis Methays ME THY AS is a human. They only haVe one eye, like Zauda. they are strange, and a little dumb and cruel. they are a fighter, and dont like florans. Actually shot me on Loswake, but made up for it by taking me to Gamu healers. Also helped ZAuda escape metal earth sickness on Loswake later. I later helped his friend who was stuck inna hole, and now we are friends.

knows Rika. Rika is short human with orange fur. clumsy hunter on Duskwood, ad friend of Mettheas. fell ina hole and Zaud had to rescue. Later saved from angry fur predator in forest. we shared the meat, even though it wasnt good meat. they still owe Zauda a catchfish.
Reka dont act like most humans. maybe theyr part floran?

Littlething. Never learned littlethings truename. they were a little brown human with black fur. They were full of of bugs instead of meat. they were seedkin of other human made of bugs. they were very stupid but were nice to me. I Liked them. They barked and picked fights because it thought Zauda was upset. Cute
One day they were killed in Duskvillage for no reason. I still dont know who did it or why. When littlething died, all the bugs turned into a swarm that went around biting things, and Methid had to kill them all with fire-stopping smoke tube. I wish I could have kept one in a container as a sadtoken.

(Unintelligible scribbling. A frowning face in the margins.)

florn dont really know anyoneelse good yet. nothing special really haPPened either.

(Unintelligible scribbling. Random lines and doodles.)

funny to look at so many words. words are special as written. They last beyond death. Will someone read this?Dunno. is stupid

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Sep 28, 2018
The Dark Season and the Dreamcrafter

Duskwoodland is snowy. ver y snowy. Snow for days and days and days without stopping. The dark season begins in a world already so cold. thought was nasty and hostile place before, but now difficult to travel beyond crude walls. no floran tribe could live here. Dunno why meatfolk want to. I need better winterclothes.
Flashlighstick also dead. Needs batt rees.
at least Fortplace has better heat now. fireplaces and comfortable seats under the ground, beyond bad cold wind. ver comfortable. I like it

Much talk of bad dreams and scary voices lately. strange predator of the mind stalks the land, but noone has seen it or knows what it looks like. I has seen and heard nothing, just the tapwords of scarrd meatpeople on staRnet. No dreams for Zauda. is there a reason? Some of the affected call the dreamcrafter a god, talk of worship maybe. Perhaps it targets ones with weaker wills who would listen to it. I would like to hunt and slay dreamcrafter - it would be a hunt worthy of longtime story! - but there are no clues and no traces. may not even exist outside meatfolk thoughts. Its prey, while numeros i guess, do not speak vry much about it xcept among themselves. Will have to LISTen for more, but dunno if i will ever have the chance to hunt before it leaves or is killed by others.
i am diappont dissappont
killing would also make meat people feel silly for being scaredy enough to call it god. meatpeople think gods dont die.
florans worship suns as gods. they Give warm and Light. they live long beyond all things people can know or make, but I know even they age and die. i have even heard tales of suns being murdered.
i wonder what god flesh would taste like
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Likes: EvDo
Sep 28, 2018

Many thingS happend in the days since i last wrote. bad things Mostly. i will try to think about it and write. it is eaasier now that I am nOt as angry and upset as i WaS before.

The dreaM Crafter was looked for, by those who had the bad dreaMs. Zauda joined them. i thought it would be a hunt. I thought i could prove myself and be accepted. i was wrong.
The dreaMCrafTer came frorm a hole in the air near a big stone statue. It looked like a human meat thing, but waS all sStrange and bad. Smelled wrong looked wrong acted wrong. all the normL normaL human stupid things fawled over it like strange fools. confusion but no fear or distrust. it was a bad feeling to me. why didnt they feel bad too?
I pounced and caught it unawares, and stabbed and bit as mcuh much as i could, but it was like stabbing water. it tasted like nothing and burned my mouth. i got carried away too because then the humans turnd on me and hurt me. Methys pulled out my feets and punched me and broke my leg and then kocked me ouut.
stupid TRATR idiot why
i thought we were frieds now

[A large drawing of a humanoid figure in a robe, heavily scrawled to appear solid 'black' except around the face, which has two small eyes and no other features to be seen. This is accompanied by what seem to be images of gas clouds, tentacles or heat hazes; the exact intended effect is unclear.]

at least it took me to hosptl. not Gaumu hosptl, but a cold and quiet hosptl in Dusk Wood. i woke up with tight stuff on my mouth and leg. could not speak or move for days everything hurt. I was missing a tooth and a lttle bit of tongue
the doctors did not like me there. they are afraid of me. one of them was a sick and bad-smelling bird that never wanted to get close. good. stay away gross thing
One of them was also nervous but brave enough to approach Zaud and be nice. they were a human thing called Nowkow. they are skittish like many weaker humans are around me and other florns. Like a small prey animal. it is cute.
i still do not like hospitls. lying in a bed for days, not allowed to leave. i was hurting and angry and it was BAD

[A scene drawing, depicting one humanoid shape - presumably Zauda - in a bed with a heavily scrawled-over leg and a sad/angry fang face.]

zaud was allowed to leeve one day with metal walking sticks to help with my leg. it feels stiff and unhappy and hurts when i lean. cant hunt in heavy dark seasOn snow anyways, but now i cannot run away or fight good.

nasty black goo thing was busy. now all the humans follow it like lost sproutlings around a greenfinger. it will probably be made chief of the whole human tribe soon. stupid idiot meat things with weak minds.
why ar they always so scary of me when i try hard to be nice and not hunt but then they Say horrible black thing from outside all real things is so good and trust worthy? cant they smell or taste or feel the wrongness? they hiss and threaten whenever zauda says bad things about the dream man. i do not undersand this behavior. i feel very alone and unhappy.

[Some meandering scribbles.]

leg is getting better slowly. still bad and stiff, but now i only need one stick to walk and i can get down stairs without help. it is much warmer in the saloom, near the fire cage. I do not Sleep at the hosptl anymore. the blackthing bothered me one time. it probbaly thought i would be dreamy and stupid like everyone else is. i told it to go away and jump into a hole. would stab again if i could, but all the humans protect it now. My pride is hurt but i cant do things that anger everyone, even if theyre being stupid. I would die badly like many other florans have here
stabbing doesnt work anyways. kills only small bits and it just heals and keeps saying dumb things. need something better. maybe fire or a bomb or a big killing-light gun. kill all the iky stuff at once. humans always seem to have fancy shooters but i dont know where they get them. No human would ever give theres to Zauda anyway.
stupid black goo
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Sep 28, 2018
Cabin Fever

I deCided to stop going to the cold world where duskwOOd village is. the dark season There is terrible. The cold bites and sting and steals my strengt, and even special thick clothes i bought do not help anymore. Prey appear les and les, so hunting is too hard as well. They hide frOm the cold or die. Smarter than stupid meat people.

and it just keeps gettng COLDR every day! the snow has not stopped falling in many moons! i have Never seeN a dark season like ths. Duskwood will be eaten by the snow just like all the Older ruins were, and all the meat things tOO proud to quit wiLL freeze there.

it was so borng too! just sit in front of the fire place forever, as if floran was waiting to die of wasting sckness. The people tryd to make it pretty with lights and ribbons but i never understood the point. i felt trapped. Zauda locked in a pretty box because going outside the village too far would kill florans easy, and kill other races only a littl slower!

it is warmer on Gaemu here. nothing to hunt or explore though, and the shiny town is very quiet and unhappy. I miss Losswake's red forest now. It was nice and famileer Until the bad things came and killed it all. Duskwood was okay tOO until the snOw started to killed it all.

doktor NoWKo said dumb excuse stuff about why humans picked a gross ball of ice for a home, instead of any better place. All sounded like nonsnenese to ZaUda. sounded like arrogant meat people that dont wanna admit they're being dumb.
as usual
stupd humans think they're so much better than everyon

Zauda will not be trapped there when the snow eats everything. They have heat and mashine power but the cold will brek those someday and leave them to freeze. I have no space ship to escape in. If i am there when the village freezes and the teleperter machine dies i will freeze and die as well.
so im not gonna be there!
Likes: Raindrops
Sep 28, 2018
Thoughts on Restrained Aggression

most thingsthat act nice to ZAuda are always surprised when i am not an animal. even the better ones always wonder why I dont just stab everyone, and say it to my face like stupid sprouts that don't know any manners. Ones like Nauko and Methis. even the wise old human Dog does it. it makes me unhappy.

Nobody understands how hard it is to be nice when nobody trusts a floran. The black shadow thing gets all sorts of love and attention for no reason, and i have seen humans only get beaten up and told to go away when they do bad things in villages. never saw a floran get that, except maybe me.
but thats jsut because they call me DIFFERRENT and DOSIEL and SPESH SPECIAL. Stupid words that hurt more than they think.
Zauda is a floran not a novalty for idiots.
i do not stab because the world would stab back, even if i stab someone who deserves it.

[Numerous random lines and scratches, as well as set of corrupted Avosi script that approximates a string of Floral swear words.]